There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
