Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
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IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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