I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
