How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
