one two three fourrrrnication!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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