Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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