Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
