covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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