Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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