Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize