By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
