Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
