You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
