Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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