What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
