Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
