so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
