i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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