She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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