Will you blow on my dice?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
