so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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