Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry brewedintexas96 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win

Fav 2 3290 752
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.

Fav 8 3784 1059
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"

Fav 16 4406 1091
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.

Fav 21 8766 1302
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.

Fav 7 1409 2939
share tweet
(937): View more from Ohio

I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?

Fav 11 3086 1136
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.

Fav 29 1255 2382
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.

Fav 1 271 328
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(980): View more from North Carolina

Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.

Fav 0 33 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT