dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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