Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize