i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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