Porn is love you can see.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
