Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
