im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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