my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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