capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i think i just lost a toe
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
