My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
