She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
