How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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