I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
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I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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