I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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