Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
