Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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