I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize