Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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