Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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