im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
