Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
