can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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