Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she pinky promised me she was 18
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
