About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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