I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
