Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
