I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
