I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we made out on top of his cat.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize