why didn't you poke me back
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
