I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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