There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize