My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
