I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
