Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
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It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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