He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
