i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
