never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
