You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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