Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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