they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
