Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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